Guest Blogger :: Shannon

Perhaps solidifying a wedding date (and wedding dress shopping swiftly approaching) compelled me to lose an average of 1.6 pounds per week in the last year of my life. (Maybe.)

I remember about elevendy-billion reasons to shed these 115 pounds gained since 2001, and somehow they gelled:

• Wondering people’s thoughts: “She would be so pretty if she just lost that weight.”
• Dreading contact with high school alumni as the athlete who "let herself go."
• Proving to my brother that there was more to me than fat.
• Making that “UUGGHH” noise when tying my shoes or standing up.
• Wondering if blood tests would reveal I have Type II Diabetes, or worse.
• Eating breakfast with visions of tomorrow’s dinner dancing in my head.
• Worrying I wouldn’t be able to keep up with the family I’ve always dreamed of.
• My fiancée steadily losing weight while I could barely squeeze in to my size 22’s.
• Being publicly addressed as “hey fat girl!,” as some guy I’ve never met wins macho-points with his buddies (hi-fives & laughter).
• Holding back painful tears as my bestie sprints towards a truck of snickering guys hoping to redeem a fun night and rescue my spirit after the driver yells, “Move you fat b**ch!” 

What’s worse? The “B-word”, or the “F-word”…FAT!

I constantly joked I had “Reverse Body Dismorphic Disorder” thinking “I look gooood...” then seeing the photos. “Do I really look like that?? Gross!”

I was kidding myself, rationalizing my failed weight loss attempts.

“I don’t know why I’m not losing weight. I eat tons of vegetables, I don’t drink soda, I rarely eat candy or fast food, and there’s really nothing else I can restrict.”

Although I don’t recall having those thoughts while inhaling a Red Robin Blue Ribbon Burger furnished with all-you-can-eat fries dunked in ranch dressing.

I’ve changed. I’m happy. I’m ready to walk down that aisle with my once-lost confident glow intact and wait for my almost-wife to marry me.

Here I am, 82 pounds lighter, changed, happy, and eagerly anticipating that walk down the aisle in my dress, while I wait for my almost-wife to marry me.

Photo courtesy of FABuLIST photographer :: Largo Photography

Guest Blogger, Shannon Williams and her fiancée are sharing with us their journey of planning their same-sex wedding. Read more about them here.